literature

Nouis: Little Lies

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"Lou, I love you," he breathed.

Louis froze.

Oh, god. Oh, god damn. He's got to be confused, right? No. The signs. The flirting. Louis didn't feel the same way. The problem with this was that he was entirely puzzled at how to break this. The Irish boy was so happy, so sunny, that if he really meant it… This could kill him.

Louis regained composure.

"Niall, I don't think you actually believe that…" He trailed off, hoping dreadfully that Niall was simply confused.

Niall laughed, amused. "Course I do, silly! You are the only one who I can feel wholly myself with! We can laugh an' play an' it's jus' great!" His smile hurt Louis' heart, guilt strangling him.

He couldn't lie to the boy. Here goes nothing.

"Niall, I love you, as a friend. Nothing more. We could never be together, Niall. You and I are both immature too much; we could never have anything constructive. Please see that, Niall. I don't want this to ruin our friendship; I value it too greatly. Please, Niall?"

The blonde boy's lips were moving, but nothing was coming out. His eyes became shiny, and Louis' heart shattered. Tears spilled over, running down Niall's pale face. He pivoted sharply and sprinted away, leaving a speechless Louis.

*

It had been twelve days since Niall had told Louis he loved him. Louis counted, down to the hour. He thought of the declaration frequently, about once an hour at minimum. He couldn't figure out why it consumed his mind, but it did. It was a plague. Louis liked to pretend it was simply because he missed the Irish lad, but he knew deep down that that was a lie.

During the biweekly meeting the boys were required to hold to discuss album information, Louis felt the blazing blue eyes on him regularly.

Louis had been avoiding the boy persistently. He could not bear to see the pain in the boy's eyes, the hurt on his face.

So Louis did the only thing he could think to do: keep away.

Louis desperately wished Niall would have lied to him, told him he was joking, anything. Anything but tell him what Louis now knew to be the truth. He'd thought over weeks leading up to Niall's profession. It made his heart ache for the closeness he once had with the boy.

But he sat there, boring a vicious hole into the table.

*

They'd been returned to their flat complex after the meeting. Niall and Zayn had both gone to their rooms immediately. Liam and Harry were in the kitchen making God-knew-what. Louis had stood in the doorway of their joint living room, unsure of what to do.

Realizing his mild fatigue, Louis decided on sleep. He crossed the living room to the hallway connecting the five rooms. His room was the on the furthest end of the hall, to the left. Niall's was kitty-corner to his, Liam's to the left, Harry's across, and Zayn's on Liam's left.

As he trotted down the hall, he heard soft sniffles. It took not even a second for Louis to know they'd be coming from Niall's room. His heart whined, begging him to risk awkward later for Niall now.

Sighing, Louis pushed open the door, walking in with no permission. Niall rolled to see who'd barged in without knocking. Seeing it was Louis, Niall groaned throatily and turned back over. A muffled 'get out, Louis' was what found Louis' ears.

Louis ignored the request and walked right up to the bed. Pushing Niall's body over, he sat down next to the boy.

"I'm sorry, Niall." Louis didn't even realize he'd said it until Niall turned to face him.

"What for? S'not my fault you're too wonderful. I can understand tha' you are too good for me. I get it Louis. You can leave now."

Niall's statement struck Louis right in the chest. He grabbed at it, literally offended.

"NIALL," Louis screeched harshly. "Are you crazy? I'm not good for you. You are too sweet and kind and you're funny and cute and you're brighter than the bloody sun!"

Louis began and kept rambling senselessly, saying things that made Niall smile widely.

Louis' mind punched itself. Hard.

You idiot. Listen to what your mouth and heart are saying. There's a reason you've avoided him. You can't admit what your heart knows is true but your skull is too thick to accept.

"Oh, my god." Niall frowned at the statement that didn't fit with the prior ramblings.

"Wha's wrong?"

Louis realized what he'd been desperately avoiding. Niall himself.

"Niall, I love you. I.. I think I've been avoiding you because I convinced myself we would never work, that neither of us would take anything in our relationship seriously. Seeing you cry made me remember, you're human. You can think and feel and listen." The euphoria of his realization, as well as the confession of his love for Niall, made Louis giddy.

"Wow, I love you! I love you, Niall!" Louis began saying it in different accents, tones, and voices, letting the really, really lovely feeling wash over his body.

Niall giggled as Louis spoke, and eventually broke into a violent rocking of laughter.

We can make this work, Louis thought to himself.
Niall tells Louis he likes him, but Louis doesn't feel the same until he actually thinks about it.
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